500

Sometimes I just want to eat everything. The entire world. I think I'd like to eat the whole world. I think that would be good. I think it would taste fantastic right now. Like a cookie. Like a big cookie. With macadamia nuts and raisins and white chocolate. I must be hungry.

I shouldn't be. I had a nice lunch with my darling today. Veggie Delight (AKA steamed broccoli, cabbage and a mushroom with spicy sauce [50 cals]). I had a nice day with him. I had a nice weekend with him. We ate. A lot. But he commented on how much I didn't eat. It worries him I think. I feel terribly inconsiderate.

I've lost some weight. I'm at 109 today. I bought size 16 pants in girls, which is roughly a size 2 is womens. I've lost a size! It's only taken three years!

I just need to make it through the rest of the evening without overeating. I cannot wait until dinner (cabbage, peppers, maybe a mushroom, celery [30 cals]; oatmeal [150 cals]; egg beaters [30-90 cals, depending on my mood]; yogurt [40-80 cals]; grapes [120 cals max]).

  --let's see, that'd put me at... 50+30+150+60+70+120...480?? Well, if my daily goal is 500, I SHOULD be okay with it...who am I kidding? I'm not okay...--

Maybe I shouldn't eat so much. I feel so fat. Who am I kidding? I'm going to eat.